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Had pretty strange dreams the two nights before last.
Monday night: I was confused, I can't remember the earlier stages of the dream but I stood below some large building in front of an isolated staircase leading into the secondfloor of the building. The doors were sliding glass doors that were already open. The room itself resembled that of a dance studio; with parquet flooring and a mirrored wall. Within that room there were many young children, about chest level in height. All of them looked the same; were all bald, had the same face, were dressed in samurai robes like that one would meditate in. White at the top with blue drapes for the bottom. they looked shocked to see me. I then looked in my hand and found a katana that was black at the handle, and a small blood stain on the otherwise perfectly shiny blade. My vision turned black, and I heard screams.
...
I then found myself in an abandoned playground. the play area was huge and the ground was sand in the middle with grass around that and concrete tiles at another. it was probably about 3 quarters of a football feild in size and had the sides shrouded in trees. One side of the playground was a highway, that seemed abandoned. The air was a mizture of the smell of rain and sulphur; and as soon as i thought of that, it began to rain. The playground- it was unlike a regular playground. It was deserted old and barren. It did not have one huge structure of slides or any structure that one could play with. It only had 3 swings at one end that stretched about 3 storeys high. the metal frame was rusty and a tainted red of maroon. The other end of the playground had two lines of large granite cube-shaped blocks.chest level once again.
...
I then found myself in an abandoned playground. the play area was huge and the ground was sand in the middle with grass around that and concrete tiles at another. it was probably about 3 quarters of a football feild in size and had the sides shrouded in trees. One side of the playground was a highway, that seemed abandoned. The air was a mizture of the smell of rain and sulphur; and as soon as i thought of that, it began to rain. The playground- it was unlike a regular playground. It was deserted old and barren. It did not have one huge structure of slides or any structure that one could play with. It only had 3 swings at one end that stretched about 3 storeys high. the metal frame was rusty and a tainted red of maroon. The other end of the playground had two lines of large granite cube-shaped blocks.chest level once again.
that was all on the playground. I walked to wards the blocks in the silence but the day-light rain. I touched the block on the surface leaving a full-hand print of blood. (the rest of the dream was a blur).
Tuesday night: I found myself on the rooftop garden on the second(or third) floor of some building which joined like a bridge among two other buildings. the setting appeared to be some kind of casual-smart party,in the evening) which i could see through glass walls of some party which had a crowd inside and an invitingly warm bright orange light. I stayed outside.then I found three guys nearby holding up some drinks and talking. They looked up at me and I walked towards them. then a blonde caucasian guy walked right past me. and I don't know why, I fell to the floor and slammed my fist on the floor. I felt angry for some reason. not just that, I felt rage. I felt myself getting stronger and a feeling of invincibility. I felt like a monster. I stood up and heard them running away.I looked down at myself, I looked a dark black, but I looked different. I looked like a monster(my mind told me I was a werewolf). Then turned around and saw Racheal with a couple of her friends i didn't recognise. I walked to her and felt overwhelming joy. We exchanged hi's. and she seemed so fond of me ;which felt so weird. then i rmbred it felt weird because I was suppose to be a werewolf and I turned to look to the dirrection the previous group of guys went running towards. And I realised I turned into human. I looked to racheal again but i then realised she was gone. I ran to the other end of the garden which then resmbled the 8th floor roof top of the attic(in Ngee Ann Poly), and looked across the side to the corridor below. then i went berserk when I couldnt find her.(well, i didnt harm anyone this time round i think, but i ran around like crazy trying to find her). At last i came to some patch of grass when i was tired. there was someone meditating there crosslegged but i had no idea who.it was already daytime. I walked behind him/her and the grass patch i was staring at grew a cyan aura which made it turn from healthy green to black with a surrounding purple aura. I felt guilt and then somehow i just knew what to do. I dug my left hand down into the air in front of me. I then saw four streaks of green aura appear in the black patch of grass in front of me. So I dragged my hand along and the aura took the same dirrection- covering the black grass in healthy green once more. Then my vision faded. I found myself on my real life bed, but still in black werewolf form. for a slight while i saw myself from a third person's perspective, i looked scary but somehow i wasn't scared. I then saw myself back through my regular eyes as i lay down and went to sleep in full daylight. (then I woke up in real life)
Well, im still trying to figure it all out, but I realise how far ive drifted away from God. In fact, I didn't just drift away, I let my feelings pull me out amok and afraid.I followed my feelings to deal with situations in a way that betrayed even my own conscious. Again I'm reminded; that my feelings are my greatest weakness. If I do not pay attention to them, I will go stray. If I pay too much attention to them, I will go stray. I am reminded to constantly control my emotions with God's help. For otherwise my heart will lead my mind berserk and I will make myself feel sad/depressed/afraid/tired/(and all kinds of horrible feelings I would not wish onto my worst of enemies). sighs......
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